How to Get Along With Coworkers, Even the Ones Unlike You

Here’s how to get along with coworkers: be a little warmer than you need to be, adjust to how they like to work, own it when you drop the ball — and stay out of the gossip.

How to get along with coworkers in 4 steps
  1. Add a little warmth to your messages
  2. Adapt to how they work
  3. Pull your weight, and own it when you don’t
  4. Stay out of the gossip, kindly

You work remotely and mostly deal with Colette, a project manager in another office, over Slack, where your messages tend to be short: 'need the deck by 3,' 'done.' At the company offsite you finally meet her at the evening mixer on the hotel terrace, and you're getting along great.

Colette
Okay, confession: you are so much nicer in person. On Slack I honestly thought you were annoyed with me half the time.

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How to get along with coworkers in 4 steps

Small frictions with the people you work next to add up fast. Knowing how to get along with coworkers comes down to a few steady habits of everyday communication in the workplace, with the ones you like and the ones you don’t.

1 of 4

Add a little warmth to your messages

“Need the deck by 3” is efficient, and it can read as annoyed. A “thanks!” or a “hope your morning’s going okay” costs two seconds. Short messages are fine; cold ones build a story you didn’t mean to tell. If someone says you seem annoyed, laugh it off and warm it up — don’t defend your typing style.

A coworker on Slack
Hey, any chance you could look over my slides before 2?
Flat reply
“k”
They reply “sorry to bug you!” and don’t ask again for a while.
Better reply
“Yep! Send them over. I’ve got 20 minutes at 1.”
“You’re the best. Sending now.”
Why it works: Same yes, plus two seconds of warmth. Nobody walks away wondering if you’re annoyed.
2 of 4

Adapt to how they work

Some people think by drafting fast; others need to map it out first. Neither is wrong, but the gap causes friction. Say how you work, ask how they work, and meet in the middle. This is the part of how to get along with coworkers that nobody teaches: most “personality clashes” are just different work styles.

A coworker who calls instead of typing
Hey, do you have a sec to hop on a quick call?
Flat reply
“Can you just Slack it? I’m kind of heads-down.”
“Sure.” Their message comes through shorter, and a little cold.
Better reply
“Sure, give me ten? Mornings I’m heads-down, so afternoons are best for calls.”
“Oh, good to know. Ten works.”
Why it works: Say how you work, find out how they work, and set up something that fits both.
3 of 4

Pull your weight, and own it when you don’t

Nothing sours a team faster than someone quietly carrying your share. If a coworker covered for you, say so out loud and pay it back: “It’s mine, and I owe you two.” Noticing and repaying small favors is one of the simplest ways to get along with coworkers over the long run.

Someone on your team who finished your part of the report last night
No worries, I just stayed a little late.
Flat reply
“Oh, nice, thanks!”
They smile, but it’s the third time this month.
Better reply
“That was mine, and you shouldn’t have had to. Lunch is on me, and I’ve got the next one.”
“Ha, deal. I’m holding you to it.”
Why it works: Say out loud that they covered for you, then actually pay it back.
4 of 4

Stay out of the gossip, kindly

You don’t need to lecture anyone. Just don’t add fuel: “If it’s his thing, I’ll let him tell me,” then change the subject to something about them. People notice who doesn’t pass things along, and they trust that person more. It keeps you out of the drama without making you the office scold.

A coworker at lunch
Did you see Kevin’s email? He’s so checked out.
Flat reply
“Right? I noticed that too. He’s been coasting for weeks.”
By Friday, Kevin somehow knows you said it.
Better reply
“Haven’t really noticed. Hey, how’d the move go? Are you unpacked yet?”
“Ugh, don’t ask. Boxes everywhere.” Kevin doesn’t come up again.
Why it works: Don’t add fuel. Turn it to something about them, and the gossip runs out of air.

How to get along with coworkers: mistakes to avoid

  • Letting curt messages do all the talking, then wondering why people seem wary of you.
  • Assuming your way of working is the normal one.
  • Letting someone cover for you without acknowledging it.
  • Joining gossip to fit in — it always gets back.

Getting along with coworkers: examples

Here’s how to get along with coworkers in the moments that come up most — what to say, and what quietly hurts the relationship.

The momentSay thisAvoid this
“On Slack I thought you were annoyed”“Ha, I type like I’m paying by the word. I’ll add a thanks now and then.”“I’m just efficient.”
“You already wrote the whole thing?”“It’s a sketch, not a plan. Let’s do your mapping call and tear it apart.”“It’s faster this way.”
“I’ve got notes. Again.”“No, it’s mine, and I owe you two. I’ll take this week and next.”“Oh, thanks!”
“Don’t say I told you, but…”“If it’s his thing, I’ll let him tell me. How’d your half marathon go?”“No way, what happened?”
A new coworker’s first week“Want to grab lunch Thursday? I can tell you who knows what around here.”Waiting for them to come to you

How to get along with coworkers you don’t like

You won’t like everyone, and you don’t have to. Aim for respectful and reliable, not close. Keep conversations about the work, be as pleasant as you’d be with anyone, and don’t complain about them to others. Find one thing you can genuinely appreciate — their speed, their knowledge of the client — and say it when it’s true. If there’s a real problem, talk to them directly and privately, the same way you would when working with difficult people. Knowing how to get along with coworkers you don’t like is mostly about keeping small annoyances from turning into a feud.

How to get along with coworkers: FAQ

How do you get along with coworkers?

Be friendly and a little warmer than necessary, adapt to how others like to work, pull your weight and acknowledge when others help you, and stay out of gossip. Small, consistent habits matter more than big gestures.

How do you build good relationships with coworkers?

Show interest in them beyond the job — remember the half marathon, ask how the move went. Be reliable, give credit publicly, and help when you can. Trust builds from lots of small moments where you did what you said.

How do you get along with coworkers who have a different work style?

Name the difference instead of fighting it: “I think by drafting; you like to map it first. Let’s do both.” Agree on how you’ll work together, and assume their way has a reason. Part of how to get along with coworkers is not treating your style as the right one.

How do you avoid office gossip without seeming rude?

Decline lightly and redirect: “Ha, I’ll let him tell me if he wants to,” then ask about something in their life. No lecture needed. People will stop bringing gossip to you, and they’ll trust you more.

Do you have to be friends with your coworkers?

No. Friendly and respectful is enough. Some coworkers become friends, and that’s great, but a good working relationship only needs trust, reliability, and basic warmth.

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