Things to Talk About with Your Girlfriend Beyond “How Was Your Day”

The best things to talk about with your girlfriend are already in her life: the ongoing story she told you last week, the plans she’s looking forward to, what’s stressing her, and the two of you. Pick one and open with a specific line, not “So, what’s new?”

30 things to talk about with your girlfriend, with opening lines

Everyday, easy topics 7
Her world 7
When she’s busy or stressed 5
Dreams and plans 3
Deeper talks 4
About the two of you 4

You and your girlfriend, Noelle, have been together three years. You're out for tacos on a Wednesday, and after covering your days, the conversation has stalled. Last week she told you a long story about a feud in her book club over who gets to pick the next book.

Noelle

is squeezing lime over her tacos and glancing around the room, in an easy mood but not saying much

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30 things to talk about with your girlfriend, with opening lines

Here are things to talk about with your girlfriend, from light everyday topics to plans, her stress, deeper stuff and the two of you. Each comes with a line to open it and a line that usually ends it.

Everyday, easy topics

Her ongoing story“Wait, update me. Did your coworker ever give your charger back?”Skip: Forgetting the story she told you last week
Food“Let’s rank every takeout place near us. I’ll start with the worst.”Skip: “I don’t care, you pick.”
The show you’re watching“Who in this show would you actually be friends with?”Skip: Talking over the episode
Music“Play me a song you loved at sixteen. No skipping.”Skip: Making fun of her taste
Something you read today“I read something weird today and I need your take on it.”Skip: Reading headlines at her while she’s exhausted
The weekend“What would make this weekend feel like a real weekend for you?”Skip: Booking everything without asking
Her day“What was the best and the worst part of today?”Skip: “How was your day?” “Fine.” Silence.

Her world

Childhood“What did you want to be when you were little? How close did you get?”Skip: “Tell me about your childhood.”
Her friends“How’s Maya doing with the new job? You said she was nervous.”Skip: “Your friends are a lot.”
Her hobby“Show me what you’ve been working on. I want the full tour.”Skip: “How long does that even take?”
Travel“If we could leave for a week tomorrow, where are we going?”Skip: “We can’t afford it anyway.”
Her career“Where do you want your work to be in a few years? What would you love?”Skip: “Just stay where you are. It’s stable.”
Learning something new“What would you learn if you had the time? Want to take a class together?”Skip: “You never have time for that.”
Family“What’s something your family did that you want to do differently?”Skip: Ranking her family against yours

When she’s busy or stressed

A busy season, like exams or a big project“Five minutes, no studying talk: what are you most excited to do when it’s over?”Skip: “How much do you have left?” every night
Her stress“Do you want to vent, want advice, or want me to distract you?”Skip: “You’re overthinking it.”
A big day coming up for her“What part are you most nervous about? Want to walk through it?”Skip: “You’ll be fine,” and that’s it
Her good news“Tell me everything. Where were you when you found out?”Skip: “Nice,” then sharing your own news
What’s worrying her“Is anything weighing on you lately that you haven’t said?”Skip: “You seem moody.”

Dreams and plans

Your “someday” list“What’s on your someday list that we could actually do this year?”Skip: Shooting down every idea as unrealistic
Your home“If we could redo one room, what would you change first?”Skip: Vetoing her ideas before she finishes
The future“What does a normal Tuesday look like for us in five years?”Skip: “So when are we getting married?” as a joke

Deeper talks

Memories“What’s a day from when you were a kid that you’d relive if you could?”Skip: Half-listening while you check your phone
Things she’s proud of“What’s something you’ve been proud of yourself for lately?”Skip: Moving on before she finishes
People who shaped her“Who’s someone outside your family who shaped who you are?”Skip: “Did you date him?”
Big questions“Do you think people really change? What changed you?”Skip: Treating it like a debate you need to win

About the two of you

How you met“What do you remember about our first date that I probably don’t?”Skip: Correcting her version of the story
How you two are doing“What’s been your favorite thing about us lately? Anything you want more of?”Skip: Only checking in after a fight
Your shared disasters“What’s our funniest disaster so far? I have a top three.”Skip: Bringing up the one that’s still a sore spot
Something you noticed about her“Can I tell you something I noticed about you this week?”Skip: Saving every compliment for her birthday card

Things to talk about with your girlfriend over text

Text works for small, warm things: a follow-up on her morning (“Did the meeting go okay?”), a photo that made you think of her, a quick “would you rather.” It’s a bad place for heavy topics, where tone gets lost. If one comes up, answer warmly and move it to a call or dinner. Good things to talk about with your girlfriend by text are easy to answer in ten seconds.

How to find things to talk about with your girlfriend

You don’t need a new topic every night. Most things to talk about with your girlfriend come from paying attention to what’s already going on in her life.

1 of 4

Follow up on her ongoing stories

The coworker drama, the book club feud, the friend who’s job hunting. Asking “What happened next?” shows you listened last time, and it’s the easiest topic there is because she already cares about it.

Your girlfriend, getting into the car after work

Hi. Ugh, long day.

Flat reply

“Same. So, what’s new?”

“Nothing really.” She looks out the window.

Better reply

“Regular long, or Brenda long? Did she ever answer you about the schedule?”

She groans. “Oh, she answered. You want the whole thing?”

Why it works: Asking what happened next shows you listened last time.

2 of 4

Talk about what’s ahead, not just what happened

Trips, weekends, a class you both want to take, what you’ll do when a busy season ends. Plans give a stalled conversation energy, and they’re good things to talk about with your girlfriend when she’s stressed.

Your girlfriend, in the middle of a brutal stretch at work

I just need to get through the next two weeks.

Flat reply

“You will. Just try not to think about it.”

“Easy for you to say.”

Better reply

“Then let’s plan the first Saturday after. Brunch, or a whole day of doing nothing?”

She smiles a little. “Whole day of nothing. Obviously.”

Why it works: Something to look forward to gives a stressed conversation somewhere to go.

3 of 4

Ask how it felt, not only what happened

“What did your boss say?” gets the facts. “How did you feel walking out of there?” gets her. Keep both in the mix — good questions to ask your girlfriend do both.

Your girlfriend, after her first big presentation to leadership

So I presented today. The VP was there.

Flat reply

“Oh nice. What did he say?”

“He said it was good.” She shrugs, and that’s the whole story.

Better reply

“And? How did it feel standing up there with him watching?”

“Terrifying for two minutes. Then kind of amazing?” She sits up.

Why it works: “How did it feel” gets her, not just the facts.

4 of 4

Bring something of your own

A thought you had, a story from your day, something you noticed about her. A conversation where one person only asks questions starts to feel like an interview; sharing your side is how to communicate better with your partner.

Your girlfriend, after another night of you asking about her day

Okay, enough about me. What’s going on with you?

Flat reply

“Nothing really. Work was work.”

“Oh. Okay.” And she’s back to doing all the talking.

Better reply

“Actually, a guy on my team brought his kid in, and she basically ran our standup.”

“Wait, ran it how? I need details.”

Why it works: Bringing your own stories keeps it from turning into an interview.

Things to talk about with your girlfriend: mistakes to skip

Only talking about logistics: groceries, bills, who’s driving.
Forgetting the story she told you and asking her to start over.
Pulling her out of something she’s enjoying just because you’re bored.
Turning every topic back to yourself.

Things to talk about with your girlfriend: FAQ

What are good things to talk about with your girlfriend?

Her ongoing stories, her friends, plans you’re both looking forward to, what’s stressing her, childhood memories and the two of you. Good things to talk about with your girlfriend are usually things she already cares about, so follow up on what she told you last time.

What do you talk about with your girlfriend when you run out of things to say?

Look forward instead of back: a trip, the weekend, something you want to learn together. Or follow up on a story she told you days ago. Running out of topics usually means the conversation stayed on logistics.

What should I talk to my girlfriend about every day?

Small real things: the best and worst part of the day, something funny, what you’re looking forward to, how you’re actually doing. Daily talk doesn’t need to be deep. It just needs to be about more than schedules.

What topics should I avoid with my girlfriend?

No topic is banned, but timing matters. Skip heavy subjects by text or when she’s rushing, avoid comparing her to exes, and don’t turn her venting into a lecture. If something serious needs to be said, say it kindly and in person.

Meet Communicate Better

Things to talk about with your girlfriend come naturally once you’ve practiced the moment.

Communicate Better is built for one thing: helping you communicate better. Step into real moments, say it your way, and see how it lands — until the right words come without thinking.

Learn more about Communicate Better →

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